Wednesday, October 19, 2011

This is how we roll

I'm so sorry I know all of you have been waiting a while for this update. Now that we have fallen into a routine I hope to get better at updating. I also wanted to make sure I could blog about certain things and not get in trouble or loose our license. For a lot of reason's to protect the children, their families and us we can't give to many details. I did find out that I can email pictures and send them on my phone as long as nobody forwards them. That was great I was able to send pics to our family.

Let me just catch you all up....

Three weeks ago we got our first placement...that sounds so uptight. It's hard to hear how "politically correct" everyone is. As you all know that's not me. That's more Mike. So I'm gonna do this my way.

Here it is my way.....

Three weeks ago we got our little blue 9 month old cupcake. He has the most amazing smile and such a sweet personality. I am in LOVE! Mike is in LOVE! Hayden is starting to be in LOVE! I'm pretty positive he loves us! When I think of what this little cupcake has been through in his short little life it makes me sick. It made me sob. Oh they warned us we would see things like this. We even heard the stories. But when you are looking at a little face with that story. It's just heartbreaking. It makes me cry for all of the little ones out there who are not as lucky, who never find a happy home. The little ones out there for whom "home" is never safe. It reminds me that this is why we are doing what we are doing. To make a difference to give these little ones security, safety and most of all love. Even if it is only for a little while. Even if we are not their forever home. Ok enough of the sad.....
I love baby feet.

Week one.....The first week was tough. Hayden wanted nothing to do with the new little cupcake that was needing HIS mommy so much. He kept telling me to "put him to sleep". Let me just clarify in the crib and not anything permanent. When I was holding him he wanted me to put him down. And boy did he back slide at school. He faked being sick so he could come home. Which I have to say I was kind of proud of him for being such a smart boy. He tried that again the next day and when it didn't work he flushed his shoes and socks down the toilet. In case you are wondering boy socks flush very nicely down an industrial toilet. Boy size 12.5 shoes... not so much. Then him wanting us to change him started. As in lay on the floor and change my underwear. I did not have a clue what to do. Thankfully that didn't go very far and we had no potty training regression.

Week two....He started to like the new little cupcake in our house but only if we were not looking. If he saw me peeking that was it back to what he was doing. On Sunday of that week he came in to tell him goodnight while I was feeding him and he gave him a kiss. Corner turned...whew!

Week three....This week started with them mimicking each other in the back seat. There is nothing cuter than two boys growling back and forth at each other. Hayden decided he was going to do all the pushing of the stroller. It has to be hilarious to watch us go into and out of the school. I try to guide the stroller. We tend to run into things. Then Hayden will say "oh bumpers". We have this routine where Hayden sits on the bench in the lobby at school while I get my visitors badge in the morning. Tuesday morning took a little longer than usual so I look out the office door to find Hayden running in circles with the stroller in the lobby. Baby cracking up, moms and dads looking horrified. Yep that's how we roll.

This would be the face that gets made in the back seat while growling at each other or fake coughing back and forth. Yep the baby makes the same face.

We are working on how we do not show affection by putting our baby brother in a head lock and how we don't make the exersaucer do wheelies or shake the car seat when he's sleeping to wake him up. But again this is how we roll.

I think one of the cutest things in the whole world is when Hayden knows the baby is up and he'll go into his room and turn on the light "Good morning A". Then I look over at a squinting eye baby (because it just went from dark to light in a second) with the biggest grin on his face. Yep brotherly love...nothing like it!

The bond between the two boys is starting to be remarkable. However it scares me half to death too. What will happen if he doesn't stay? How will Hayden take it? I'm not sure I'll be able to handle a broken hearted little boy. He calls me mama. His little face lights up when I walk in a room. Everything in his world is ok as long as he can see me. So I'm not even sure how I am going to handle my own broken heart. But we are hoping and praying that it doesn't come to that. Right now that is how we have to roll. Because there is no other way to roll. Right now it's the here and now and not next month or next week. Here and now! That's how we're gonna roll.

Thank you so much for all the amazing things you have said to encourage us. Thank you always for all your thoughts and prayers. I know that I have a few prayer warriors out there and I love you all so much.


side note: Mike is not here to edit this critiquing my know who you are. Now I have one little boy who is taking a nap and one who is in school. I'm going to go and enjoy a little me time.