Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Mother's Day Snob

Hayden - We've increased Hayden's medication dose and he seems to be handling it so much better this time than the last time.   Gee I wonder why?  Could it because I decided to increase his meds the same time he got a new little sister?  Not sure exactly what I was thinking.  Even supermom's have duh moments.  I decided to give it another shot since the shock of not being an only child has kind of wore off.  I am happy to say he's doing great!  He is talking non stop.  I can't understand a lot of it but we are getting there.  He is more loving and affectionate.  I mean I am getting random hugs for no reason.  NO REASON!!  He is asking me to lay down with him at night for a little while.  He is talking to other kids at school and still telling me about his day!  He is playing with his sister...really trying to play.  It's been amazing to see these changes.  Keep them coming.

Cupcake -  She is fitting into our family very nicely.  She and Hayden are getting along most of the time.  She is a typical little sister who think her big brother hung the moon and wants to do everything he does.  You probably could guess how this drives Hayden a little nuts every once in awhile.  So he'll feel the need to tell me to put her to bed or put her outside or the most recent...take her to the doctor.  Over all they are getting along great.  That 5% chance of us not keeping her paralyzes me sometimes.  My heart races and it's complete dread.  I don't know what we'll do if that happens.  She feels so much like ours already and it's been less than two months.  I have to keep reminding myself that she is not ours officially yet.  She has bulldozed (well clumsily fallen) herself into our hearts so deep that even the thought of not keeping her makes me sick.  I try not to think about it, but it's there just in the back of my mind.  Every time I fill out my reports or take her to an appointment or have to tell someone she is our foster daughter...Every time I have to send in a vacation request and ask permission before I do something or send in a back ground check on a friend or family member so they can babysit, I am reminded that she is not yet a Makris.  Every time a friend asks if it ok to post a picture or I have to ask a friend to take down a picture because we just can't do that, I am reminded.  I cannot wait for the day they tell us she is ours and thaat we can adopt her.  I cannot wait for the day I can post pictures on this blog or on FB of her face. We are throwing a BIG PARTY people.  Big. Huge. Party. 

This past weekend was mother's day.  I am not ashamed to admit I am a mother's day snob.  You will never hear these words come out of my mouth "oh I don't need anything for mother's day" or "don't waist your money on flowers".  Because lets be honest woman really don't mean that when they say it.  It's like setting your husband up to fail.  We all as mother's want to be appreciated in some way.  That's what I think mother's day is all about.  I think it's the perfect time for a husband to not just talk about how much he appreciates his wife as a mother, but to show her.  I know how lucky I am that Mike get's this!  I am always spoiled on mother's day..ALWAYS.  Not only do I have the guy that tells me how much he appreciates me as a mom (not just on mother's day) but he shows me.   I don't think you have to spend a ton of money to make is special either...I'm not that bad.  I love flowers!  I love the way they look on my table.  I love the way they make my kitchen smell.  I think it's because I can't grow "real" flowers that have roots.  I know the fresh cut ones are going to die not matter what and I really have no control over that, so there is no guilt when I throw them away.  This year Mike got me a dozen roses that as he handed them to me he said "listen I have no idea how these are going to do they were on clearance at the grocery store and I only paid $9 for them".  They were kind of sad looking when I cut them and put them in water.  The next day they were the most beautiful and perfect roses I have ever seen and they still look gorgeous.  Some of the best flowers he has given me came from somewhere other than a florist.  So does this mother's day confession make me a snob?  Probably but I just don't care.  I worked very hard to be a mommy the first time and I've been through a lot to be a mommy the second time.  For many years I sat and watched mother's day come and tried really hard to not be jealous of all the mom's around me celebrating.  While I continued to struggle to become a mommy.  I'll admit that was a really rough time in my life.  I know there are so many woman out there who had a much harder time than I did.  There are many more woman out there who are still not able to be a mommy.  My heart breaks for those woman and I always take a moment to say a prayer for those ladies on mother's day.  I've been there I know what a torment mother's day can be.  I am proud of my title as mom.  I cherish it and all that it means.  I look my babies in the eyes and thank God for them.  I am one blessed momma!

I hope you all had a wonderful momma's day and that you were appreciated.   I am surrounded every day by some really amazing mommies.