Monday, August 26, 2013

Fist day of School and a confession.

Summer is over!  I am only slightly sad about this.  I know I am the worst mother in the whole wide world, I'll accept the label.  Don't get me wrong I am saddened by the fact that I now have a 3rd grader (What???) and a P-Kindergartener for the last time.  Next year she goes to Kindergarten...sigh.  But man am I happy I get three hours of ME time.  Like I said the worst mother EVAH.  This summer was brutal.  I am exhausted!!  They drained me these last 3 months.  I need some time to recoup and get healthy again so I can once again be super mom.   Being with my two very different personality children 24/7 for the last 3 months has taken its toll.  There were some days I'm not sure I brushed my teeth.  Days without a shower.  I think for the first time ever I agreed wholeheartedly with Mike's philosophy of "pool clean".  Up until this summer that whole notion was absolutely outrageous not to mention disgusting to me.  This summer it became my survival tactic.  This summer I did the sniff test.  Nope we don't smell too bad  and we don't look like pig pen so lets go to Target.  I am not proud but I will admit that I locked myself in the closet at one point this summer with a magazine and a bag of Dove mint chocolates while I listened for 15 minutes to my freaking out children not being able to find me.  Ok that's not entirely true I listened to Cynthia freaking out and Hayden helping himself to whatever he could find in the cupboards and fridge.  I. DID. NOT. CARE.

Part of my brutal summer had to do with me.  I just didn't feel right.  For the first time ever I was hit smack in the face with the fact that I am a Fragile X carrier and now have issues associated with it.  I always considered myself lucky.  I am not brutally shy, I don't have anxiety issues.  I don't have issues I needed to medication for.  Well...that was until I turned 37.   What the heck happens at 37 that your whole body goes berserk?

I mean you should get a memo that says warning turning 37 may cause weight gain that you will not be able to get rid of, loss of memory,  adult acne,  fibromyalgia, night sweats, irritability, depression, cryonic fatigue syndrome and complete loss of patience.  Warning: being alone with your children for three months straight may increase these symptoms.  Use extreme caution around mother's who unlike you seem to have it all together, this may cause a complete emotional break down. 

I would have be prepared had I gotten the memo.  Where was the memo?   What has happened to me???  I don't want to be around me, I am a mess and it's sure not a hot one.  Unless of course I am having a hot flash then by all means I am a hot mess. So I prayed for the summer to end because I could no longer guarantee the safety of children.

So Today I sent my beautiful children back to school and prayed they'd have a wonderful day.  A wonderful day with calm, patient and sane adults. 

Cynthia my child that asks "what are we doing today" before her head even leaves the pillow, was extremely excited to go back to school.  This girl had ran circles around both me and Hayden all summer.  Hayden my child who is perfectly content with just sitting and seeing what the day brings, was not so excited to go back.  I worry more about him than her.  The first few weeks of school can be brutal for him.  He always has a rough time adjusting.  I was especially worried with the new medication we are trying.  It makes him sleepy and a bit sick to his stomach.  To my amazement they both had a great day!!!  Let's be honest they were probably happy to just be around adults who heads didn't spin around 360 degrees.

All of that said we made some great memories this summer. 

I hope all the kids who went back to school already this year had a great first day!  Now here are some pics of my babies first day to prove to you that they are still alive and healthy!

Yep that's Mr. Not looking at the camera and Miss Attitude


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