Yesterday we met with the adoption coordinator. What an amazing lady. So nice and you could really tell she loves her job. I believe her job is tell it like it is and stretch us as foster parents a little bit. What I mean by this is that she gave us a lot to think about and pray about. You think as a foster parent you write up your home study and that's it! They go by what is in your home study. What we said we wanted and what were were willing to take in. She presented us with several different scenario's of which we now have to consider. She pulled on our heartstrings a little bit. There are so many children who need loving homes and stability it just breaks my heart. The foster/adoption agency that we are working with has a shelter so they get children in all the time. She informed us at our lunch that if we were interested she could check and see if any of the children met our criteria. Would we be interested? We could have a child in our home probably this weekend. Hmmm let me think about this yes..yes and yes!!!! I look over at Mike who at this point looks a little pale and curb my enthusiasm slightly. So tell me more? She has to go back to the shelter and see what the status is and she will call us. We walk out of lunch I look up at Mike who looks completely shell shocked. Not pass out shocked but still shocked. We both just didn't expect this to happen so quickly. Luckily I didn't have much time to obsess about it I needed to go get Hayden so by the time she called we were just walking in the door. So there were two babies at the shelter that met our criteria. Long story short after what was about the most intense half hour of my life. We found out both babies had already been placed with other families. I don't think I even know how to describe the mix of emotions that I felt during that half hour. I don't think there has ever been a point in my life when I walked around with so much nervous energy that I didn't know what to do. I mean I literally just walked around the house with thoughts of everything I needed to do in my head but not being able to do anything. I'm glad I had that luxury poor Mike was at work in meetings. I'm guessing his mind was anywhere but at work.
So the matching has begun. What this means is that any babies/children that come through CPS or the shelter that meet our criteria (age mostly) our home study will be sent in. At that point we just wait and see if we are selected. This could be tomorrow or could be months from now. I learned from what Mike deemed our "dry run" that this process happens quickly and you don't get a lot of time to think about it. So I am currently attached to my phone. Which is a really weird feeling for me I usually never am. Just ask anyone who tries to get a hold of me at any point in the day...lol
We were also presented with the idea that there are children out there that might be slightly outside of what our criteria is but they are legally ready for adoption now. We knew this but when an actual child is described to you it makes a difference. When someone describes a little one that is ready with no legal battle, to come into our home, it really makes you think. So we are really going to be thinking a praying on this to see where we're lead. I can say the thought of holding a little baby again and having one in our home was really exciting. So I am not sure how much I am willing to stretch the criteria right now. The heartbreak might prove to be too much and we may decide to go that route but for now I think we stick with the original plan.
We've also have the opportunity to do respite care. Which is a fancy way of saying babysit. We would babysit for other foster/adoptive families. Maybe for a couple of hours or a day or even overnight. We're looking forward to this aspect of it since it's been 6 years since we had a baby in our home. This will give us a chance to get our feet wet a little bit and see if what we originally want still holds true. To see what might be the best fit for our family.
I want to once again send a sincere thank you out to you. I know there are several of you out there who are praying for us. Some of you even daily. Some of you do whenever I ask or post that prayers are needed. This means the world to us. I am praying that God sends us what is meant to be. I know that we are going to face some heartbreak and it's not going to be easy. I pray that we learn from that and use it for His glory.